- Shes a NURSE! -

My...

2005-06-26T19:58:00.000+08:00

1st week of attachment

how tiring but very fun! i finally got to do the REAL thing n see the REAL thing. ouh man its so much fun. eventho u have to stand all day n walk around n help those sick people. hey, if u have the heart of helping those people who are sick, u will really like it. but bare in mind, u will be facing some gruesome stuffs.

my attachment now is in changi hospital ward 47. its a surgical all male ward. some of the apeks are so cute! really! but i dont fall for apeks. hehehe. have to change their pampers, feed them, bath them n lots more. i wish i can tell u my story there but sorry im too tired. havent got the time to blog now or even surf the net. all i do now is go work, go home, bath, eat then sleep. its very tiring.

well sorry but i have to say this, to those people who dont want to continue their journey for nursing, then it a big waste. it really is. you just need patience in these kinda things. have to at least achieve it.

Trip to zoo!

havent been to the zoo for more than 5 years! believe it! but the place has change quite abit. very fun n the walking is very tiring. when there with aunty lin n family. nothing much. im just tired right now. have to wake up at 5am tmrw! damn~ morning shift tmrw. see ya people... take care aites!

ouh yea, check friendster for new pics... hehehee i still do have time for pictures ok! =D

unexpected

2005-06-16T21:12:00.000+08:00

kakak is sick. i hope she gets well soon. visit her just now n shes alright. alhamdullilah.

woke up so early today. im so sleepy the whole day. yarh so sleepy i decided to take pictures. as usual. check my friendster ok!..

danG!`

this comp im using now dont have photoshop. havent upload yet. so i had to use ayid's laptop transfer pics there n edit em n then sent to the comp. how troublesome.

oOohH` i love my pictures.

ehk! today ade LOST! must watch show. hehee. i love the show. hmm

hey im addicted to malay old school songs once again.. hehehe.. the lyrics are soO nice. i love it. feeling2 u~

* Seribu Kali Sayang - Iklim *

i have this sickness..

2005-06-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

.. of being too lazy to blog. but watever`

waHHHHHHHH 13 june just passed! im happy yet sad n quite guilty! 3 things happened.

one year ann for me n dear. dear's grandma pass away. forgot sakhai's bdae! how am i suppose to react?

yeah-sob-urghz ???

hahaa. that was the 13th of june.

a date to remember.

yesterday when out. gave dear his gift n the letter. glad he liked it! i hope he takes good care of the gift coz i wanna know how it works! wahaha. its an egg actually. n inside the egg is not a chick or yolk. i has a bean n soil in it. pour water for 8 hours n the egg will crack. within 7 days, a plant will grow. n has a msg on it. interesting ey? hehee. i hope the planting thingy works!

ouH yea! today i got my interview for my IMH bond! woHooO! it when well. glad it did! ask only 4 ques.

why do you want to be a nurse? (arH! easy to answer. smooth as it is.)

why work in IMH?

what sort of patient will you meet in IMH?

what do you think nurses in IMH do..?

difficult? think again. if u noe it, i will b easy. i was abit nervous so i can still answer the questions. with abg's help i got it thru well! thx abg for the advice! wahahaa` the results will be in 2 weeks time.

ouh yea! talkign abt results! i got my Nursing results! wahahaa. apparently theres no As

BioSci - D

BehaviouralSci - B

ClinicalNursing - B

NursingStudies - C

PE, Commskills etc. - Satisfactory

GPA - 2.349 ( i tink, cant remember)

Fuh! glad i pass!

the hols is gonna be over soon! n attachment is coming! aRgh!!!

my day out with Sisz Shamin (shasha) & Indra (foxxyChi)

2005-06-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

i was sad that a plan made for sisz gathering failed. ehmm`

BUT! theres me n shamin! i love her loads. when out with her n foxxy! was F U N i tell u.

had to teman shamin for her photoshoot. it was uber fun! see her makeup n her hair! just one word. Gorgeous.

i wish i could do the photoshoot also. but i prefer my own business u see. if theres a modeling thing for hejab women maybe i can consider. i dont want hejab iran. its plain. i want something vogue. something else. another but is, my parent doesnt allow. urgh~ maybe i will after my nursing course. i want to do something i really really want. yea..

*dreams*

aneway, back to the day-out, ok so i watched her photoshooting. it was really cool. jeff is friendly! n also the rest of the crew. hehee. then there was this break time, n the 3 of us, me shamin n foxxy, we tok pics! biaselah klau eza bawak camera, mcm2 bleh jadi! mcm org gile kite amek gambar. n theres one part my camera batt low n foxxy was telling us to pose this n tt using his hp. mcm hes the photographer for some modeling agency. hehee. we dream of having our own modelling agency. *tgk ni kite nk brangan..* i wish i could happen! n the pics turns out very nice! but too bad i cant show the pics foxxy took coz its in hes hp. n tkde infra-red or wat! huzz.

overall.. we did have fun!!! even its just the 3 of us! really was hoping tt the resdt could make it. kan best. but dsomething happen. hmm. it will take time to get over it...

*check out friendster for pixies we took!*

summarized

2005-06-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

u want a summary of my half week? i dont care if u want or not; coz im gonna do it! HAH!

Monday

i was in pain. n i went out with my mum. in the beginning , it was really painful n i was uncomfortable. but later on i was FINE! right exactly when i reach to this shop named XQZit. its a new shop in tanjong katong complex. My dear cuzzins, i recommend u to go shop over there. its a good shop n it really is ur kinda taste. hahaha. it has 3 shops. 1 for clothes, the other is accesories n the other is bags. after i shopped there, paid for my baju, i realised it was abg gadahfi's cuzzin's shop!! wahahaa. cool i tell ya. hes cuzzin recognised rayyan so we found out!.. then abg gadahfi's cuzzin gave me n my mum free gifts coz we bought 2 clothes. hah! i wont tell u wat i got! also i bought some accesories. i crazy over those accesories.. hehee. gonna go there again once i get money.. wehehehee...`

Tuesday

nothing much but just stay at home. i had my own emo sessions for myself. it was useful... u dunt need to know.. and also i cleaned up my drawer n sort things out n i found many things i could use!! accesories!! ouh n i cleaned up my sister's previous closet n found some clothes too!!

Wednesday

when to johor with parents, abg n kak ida n rayyan. go do wedding invitation card for abg's wedding. i like choosing! so many to choose. nice ones i tell ya... finally decided. had a hard time deciding. ok so then we, from johore, go gelang patah just to EAT!!... johore to gelang patah is like 55km away! hah! i was far ok. i mean just to eat lunch... but was worth it i tell u.. ate at kampong area on a kelong! hehee.. best. n the food there is superb n cheaper! ate alot n when reach home still hungry.. =P

oOoH!! i have so many things to look forward for the next few days! weEEee.. meeting my sisz! so long never meet them. i miss them ALOT..! saturday pls come quick!! ok then monday.. the date ive been waiting for. i hope it goes well... =\

i miss you

some1 to hold me down

2005-06-05T19:38:00.000+08:00

i have mixed feelings. but theres just one thing i need to say to u. hurt me deeply so i can hate u rather than still love u.

i wanna thank my dear sisz ton for being there for me when im in need.

H E L L to those i asked for help! F U C K U! u are just bunch of useless people! ouh this is one thing i wanna talk about. u make me listen to ur problems n i listen with 100% of my ears. i helped u when u asked for it. i tried. NOW WHERE THE HELL ARE U WHEN I NEED U?! u wasted my money for msging u no replies. F U C K U once again. thanks for taking me for granted!

i realise i can never ask u people for help but from my own sistaz...

now, my good side. Ton thanks alot. u helped me. seriously. i listen to u n u listen to me. how i love my sistaz. u noe....

we laugh together

we cry together

when we need help, we are there for each other

when we are in pain, we heal each other

BUT

when u wanna jump from a 15 storey height,

i wont be there for u because..

i will be at the bottom to catch you...

i love u girls...

Precious time comes in handy

2005-06-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

for many times i know its beautiful us. just the two of us. in our own world of SHOPPING!! hahaa! what were u thinking??

was looking for the shop at every corner of far east n couldnt find it. i think the shop close down aready. hmm. nvm. told dear that he can get his stuff for other shops. finally he got it! hah! was i glad after all the searching. now i feel like having one too... ouH!` i forgot. he was looking for a pair of shades. no but i cant. coz i dun have contacts n i dont even look good in shades! i mean those BIG shades. i hate em. i like those normal but cool ones. i might get one once i get my contacts. which will be in ...errR.. `excuse me im not sure myself. hehee. alah! someday i will get one! i desperately want one but mum doesnt allow. how tight. Ehmm.

o`Oh! me n dear snapped some pictures too when resting. hehx! glad i brought my digicam. that digi really comes when its needed. krekrekre. (check out friendster for some of the pics)

EhK! u know wat.. suddenly im listening to my old albums! yea BSB, NSYNC, ..what else?.. most of it BSB. im a big fan of BSB. n still is. BSB stands for Backstreet Boys to those idiots whu dont know what it is. what losers u people are. huzz.

*everybody groove to the music.. everybody jamM...` aaHhhh jam on coz backstreets got it, come on now everybody.. we gotta goin on for years....*

photoShoot-ed

2005-06-01T21:40:00.000+08:00

had photo-taking just now. only me n just me. edited n updated. check it in frendster ok. dont miss it. i like the one that has my name.

you just never know wat u can do with ur clothes. ur effects. ur hair. ur makeups. ur camera! hahaa`

had a boring afternun so ended up loking thru my wardrobe n find sum clothes n put em on n snap snap snap. yes, no make up. at all. hair wasnt done at all too! just took a small bundle of it and tie em up. how cool today's session was.. hehee

why am i even telling u all this??! hahaa`

im bored.. bye!

somethings up`

2005-05-31T17:06:00.000+08:00

im not happy n im lost! im angry too

the things i read, the things i see, the pics i see..

how was i abandon?

i wont be specific but they are just people who just came across my life n leave me behind.

how good is that..

i know i aint pretty. i aint clever n not misS popular.. u people just want fame!

5 letters for you people..

L O S E R

now get lost!`

i watched Madagascar!! with my cuz ani.. hehee cute i say.

i like it when u move move it: i like it when u move it move it: they like it when u move it move it: U like it MOve it!

the part where tt furry thing did the robot action, i find tt very CUTE! hehee

sleepless night

2005-05-29T19:00:00.000+08:00

ouh man` i really had a bad dream. it was bad i realised i was crying when i woke up. why did i even dreamt about it?!.. i saw the face, the place, the picture. it was bad. the words were so clear. i was afraid to return to my sleep. wat if it is true? wat happens den?

im so worried im confused im scared ok

i wont want to share this here. i dont think its important for you to know. if u want to know, u really are a BIG KPO person! damn it!

hafiz called n we talked. everything was out. a to z. i was really angry. n i burst out crying again. he listened to me. crying everything out. he listened n just LISTENED! not anything else! why didnt he say anything.. a simple sorry? if only he saw me cry, i want him to hug me. i want to be in his arms and his shoulder to cry on. make me feel secure. saying that he will be there for me? thats what i want. i need a HUG!!!

Somebody!!?

*sob sob sob*

a trip to... and SUMthing SCARY happened!!

2005-05-28T20:27:00.000+08:00

Irsyad 'carnival' & TOWN..!

Irsyad's 'carnival' was quite fun i guess. when there with my mum, kala jijah, ani n azi. so many people as expected there. was a beautiful day so many turned up. there were lotsa food, balloons, queues!, n people on the back, front, left and right! hot too! the food was great i tell u. the rice, what was the name of the rice? i cant remember. then there were some performance. meet some old friends. overall it was quite ok. nothing much.

i was wondering. how come i dont look good wearing jubah..? i observed some girls were wearing jubah n they look very nice in it! hmmm...

after that me n ani when off to town! yeah! thought it might be a good time a first when something happened at Far East!.. let me tell you wat happen...

me n ani we were in a shop in far east. while looking at the stuff over there, a man i dont know who he was was standing outside the shop n was looking at us n talking to us! both of us seriously have no idea wat he was talking abt. i gave him the what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about look and everyone was looking at him! he kept talking n i told ani lets go. we when off and that man was still talking to us! i have no idea wat he was talking! serious! eventho he was speaking english.. something about tudung..american..muscle.. sumting sumting... we tot he got the wrong person or trying to be friendly or wat so, we didnt care

THEN..,

we were at the 2nd floor. we were about to turn when this man out of nowhere appeared again!! that me n ani freaked out!! he was talking directly in front of me n said*showing his arms* 'your muscle must have 16 pounds..16 pounds'. hes face was scary ok! he was really talking to us! n he showed sumting to do with scarf again n i have no idea! we got really scared. everyone was looking! soO scared we turned and walked away or can i say we ran abit slower? is there such word? hehee. anyho, we ran away n that man was still following us! we ran abit faster n then we turned! pHeew! my heart was beating so fast! i was having apnoe..! that man really freak me out! we turned back n lucky us he wasnt there anymore. we walked after that. looking out for that man. look left n right, go.. left right, go.. my heart was beating so fast i was trembling. my legs were wobbly. that was wat we did till we reach the bag store we wanted to go... after that we looked out for tt man again n lucky he was no where insight till we got out of far east!

OMG i tell u i was really scared! i was trembling ok! dont laugh! its true! tho it was kinda funny at first.. hehe. it was as if hes a flasher or conman or watsoever. that man.. i dont know. he doesnt look like chinese, or caucasian. i have no idea. late 50s and has white hair n botak tengah! hahaa. ouh man.. i hope i dun have a dream abt that CONMAN! i shall call him a CONMAN or wat? argh! that man! THATMAN.. sounds like batman. hehee... ok so THATMAN..

once again i hope i wont get a dream abt THATMAN.

on the way home i tot, what was he actually talking about? why did he turned up to me n ani? what would have happen if me n ani didnt run away? uRgh! lucky we ran away.. if not what would have happened..

*masya allah*

abyss

2005-05-27T19:16:00.000+08:00

*blank*

"whats wrong with you?"

"I Love You"

*blank*

have you ever wonder how those 3 words can make you feel much better?

Sincerity

Thats all i need to say for today..

The CONTENDER!!

2005-05-26T15:35:00.000+08:00

yesterday, 25th May 2005
2325hrs on AXN

the results are in the Contender arena..
*drum rolls*
the winner by knockouts is....
*drum rolls*
The man who is called.. *dragging*
LATIN SNAKE!!
Ladies & gentlemen, SERGIO MORA is the winner for the CONTENDER!!....

*roars from the audience n also in my heart!*

on the first round of the match
Ayid: who do you think will win?
Eza: Sergio.. of course *because he has stamina n is cute*
Ayid: same here..

wahahaaa!! sergio won! just as expected. first few rounds he wasnt tt gd coz peter manfredo was always pushing him to a corner n box box him. n guess wat? after that we shoot shoot n shoot! so gd! the best one was the last 10 seconds of the last round! *dish dish DISH!*
but Peter Manfredo Jr, did very good too. wat i noticed was he kept 'hugging' sergio. hehee funny.
oso the 3rd place goes to Elfronzo Gomes. the 4th place goes to Jesse sumting i cant remember.

well, to those who dont know wat the hell im taling about, im gonna expalin it now. its the Contender im taling about. the reality show for Boxing in AXN. its a hell of a good reality show. heez` i like! hope theres aother season for it. its much better that watching Survivor or Fear Factor...

that man!

2005-05-24T21:54:00.000+08:00

ouh sHoot!

i have to say this..

that man

Criss Angel

That MindFreak

OMG

hes F*#ing _____

dun ask me wat that blank stands for

i cant find a word for that blank in the Dictionary

....

that thing had strawberry` i realised

2005-05-24T19:30:00.000+08:00

i was OUT just now. alast. i was dead bored! was about to go out n meet dear, skali he told me he just woke up. Ouh great. *rolls eye* but i just when out coz wanna walk in the rain. hehee. silly-silly. waited for like 1 hr. i HATE lateness! seriously i hate waiting. he begged to say sorry. i said, i will smile when ur apology is accepted. =)

nothing much today actually. i took sum pictures today, sumhow.... the pics are not tt satisfying! not nice. maybe im put of pose. hahaa` maybe.....

*i had strawberry taste just now! EiRk!*

*jump Jump!*

reading fiction is fun!

2005-05-23T20:12:00.000+08:00

i cant take this anymore! this is fucking boring!

its the holidays and im not going out!

nvm tmrw. i will free my mind

i want to unlock it..

the first thing i need is my cure to every single thing =)

dun guess. u dont even know

*change of topic now*

OMG im dead bored at home n i finish 2 bks in only 2 days!

not suprising or am i talented but..

tt showed HOW I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AT HOME!

i read my Sophie Kinsella - COnfession of a Shopaholic and Can you keep a Secret. read these books for 3 times! i admit this, the book is good! fun fun fun. dont think im crazy if u see me laughing in front of the book. the book has a moral ok! how not to overspent and what happens if u tell a stranger your secrets.. hehehee... i need another sophie kinsella's book.. anybody has it??? im addicted to it!!

if i cant find somebody to lend me their books, i will just have to read my babysitting books. yea The Babysitters! all time fav. hey.. im a kid when it comes to reading ok! hehehee SSsshhH~`

i havent talk to her for 2 days now.. hmmm

how good is your memory?

2005-05-22T18:35:00.000+08:00

i was looking thru my sunflower album. Soo many memories passed thru my mind. many years behind. you see.. pictures are kept for good memories and things u would want to remember when u are 30 years old or maybe older. like for right now, i miss my secondary sch days. one day i brought my camera n i would ask my classmates (4n3s) to take pictures together. how fun..

*smiling*
i miss being in that class

oUh Ouh! i scanned a picture of my bestfrend n me. that sakhai. i miss her alot! havent seen her for quite sometime. i must meet her. probably next wk. hehee. i remember the yellowbk we used to have. the book tt we both will write our little secrets. so fun! n the neo-prints inside. HEez. i read the book over and over again. never got bored with it. maybe can make it into a book! hehee! then we thought of burying the book at the beach n hopefully 30 or 40 years time, a somebody will find tt book and maybe publish the book! ahahaa. our imaginations do run wild at times.

well, u might have guess it right. i was bored so i when thru everything tts inside my box. My Memory Box! hehee. wat a boring afternoon so tts wat i did. after that i felt great. maybe next year i will go thru tt box of mine again.. hehee

1 2 3 4

2005-05-21T20:20:00.000+08:00

1.
I took my Hep B just now!! =D im virus free.. am i? actually im kinda stupid coz im not quite sure why we have to take hep b. but watever it is i took my hep B just now! weheheheee~

2.
about today's news. the baby pictures. CRUEL is one word i say...

3.
the SGgirls pictures. STUPID....

4.
Everything seem so wrong to me today. besides the hep B lah...
urgH` i think im mean.... to everyone

5.
Im sorry...

i was looking back..

2005-05-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

i read all my previous entry. i was really mad.

im glad all those are gone. and i am as happy as ever.

we are really in good condition.

its going to be a year now. hope it goes on n on.

we know each other really well. n we overcome our problems.

im glad we are a piece.. i really do

`im sO in lurve with yoU....~`

last day in COLLEGE EAST in 2005

2005-05-20T18:26:00.000+08:00

wEEee exams are over! it will be next year where i will face another test or exams! krekrekre`

but today seems abit draggy mainly during the noon. after finish my paper at 930 can go off aready den the teachers blanja eating for us. it was nasi lemak. nice u noe- . after that had to wait till 12 nun for the talk. before that me n linda were like singing LONELY on ICE MILO version. LOL. so sad today no ice milo. last day of sch no ice milo. SAd~ after tt met the rest at MLT. we took pics with my camera. crazy pics! hahaa typical us..

the talk was 85% boring i tell ya. they were telling us the prescriptives n the proscriptives for attachment. den had briefing for our clinical.

20th June 2005, 730am meet at CHANGI HOSPITAL outside 7-11.

the whole thing ended at around 3 plus. freaking sHag after tt. but i was looking forward to meeting dear! we got plans but our plans all burned becoz i end sch late. huzz. so me n dear just end up eating at mac. both of us were really hungry.

im gonna miss tt sch... the labs, the dummies, the lift, the toilet, the gym, the hall, the cafe, the forum, and the everything! looking at people, familiar faces n all. ouh well, hopefully to see them the next year!

COLLEGE EAST, im gonna miss u alot!!

mugGing is so shaGing!

2005-05-19T19:35:00.000+08:00

Microbiology

Musculoskeletal

Circulatory & Respiratory System

Digestive System

Dang!~ why do they ask us to learn this! so many words to learn. so Susah! so many things to study for bio. how do they expect us to cramp everything inside my brain? even a brain as big as a basketball cant go in... haH!

they put the hardest paper on the last day. what? they want us to endure?? should have put it for the first paper which can make us feel abit better!

im suppose to be mugging now but the comp has this magnetic force to ask me come. hehee`

hello! i need to put my eyes away from those big piles of notes ok! im so sHag...

ouh well, im looking forward to tmrw tho. AFTER THE PAPER i mean... i aimed to finish at 945 tmrw n after tt i'll be free!! frm papers n pens n words n everything! but only for short period of time- hehehee... but still! its GOOD.

i feel like taking pictures now. but aH! lazy lah.. i need to finish up my reading of thick notes.

Ouh yea! i forgot to tell, yesterday i watched House of Wax. not bad! out of 5 i give 3 and 3/4. hahaa.. ouh OUH! check out paris hilton's bra! its so the nice!!! wakakakaa...

krekreKre`

2005-05-18T17:05:00.000+08:00

everyones pestering me to update blog! ahahaa- lazy lah

ok i think my mood for blogging is now back! for real!

i think` =D

im suppose to be mugging for my bio sci paper this friday but aRgh nvm.. theres tmrw. i wont be going to sch tmrw coz no paper. just one more paper to go and im free!! free for how long? only 2 and a half weeks~ BluGh~ den i will have a new CHEESE! go attachment lah.

im attached to changi hospital. oklah. its near by only. gosh im gonna miss schooling. it'll be like next year january till im back to sch. tsk tsk`

this week is exam week but to me its like photo-taking week!~

i've been taking lotsa pics n editting em. oH its my way of relaxing actually. my folder is like full of pictures! i LoiKe!

PPL DO GO TO FRIENDSTER AND LOOK
AT MY NEW PICTURES OK!
i didnt put all ok. only the FAVOURITES are there. hehee-

KAK ELLI! SAYE DAH UPDATE` krekrekre...

Whus back?

2005-04-01T19:57:00.000+08:00

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!

muaHAhahaaa

guess whus back..

back again...

im so sorry its been awhile since i last updated my blog.

its either im too tired to blog or i forgot to do so.

ehehee-

right now i just feel like blogging after bloghopping.

rite now im not sure whether theres NDP training tmrw.

heh!

im so Shag! if theres training, after that got meeting.

if theres no training, i can still wake up late n just go for the meeting.

im damn lazy sia.

my first victim today for april fools was watie. ehehee told her i kena admitted to hospital. den next was dear again. ahaha then maman. maman havent know i kena him. wahahaa. didnt do many people today. hehee- dunno wheres my april fool mood yet. nobody kena kan me sia. so boring... huzz~ SUMBODY!!

darling i love u!~

hehee~

Wahahaa

2005-03-07T18:50:00.000+08:00

today was fun! so much of laughter!

wahahaa

today really was my day with my friends..

huzz they are just a bunch of great people on earth!

ok so i came to sch with camera n we snap here n there

n 2 funny things happened!

one at the toilet... we kept saying and shouting 'gebrek-gebrek!'

sumhow i pronouced it wrongly... i said 'Grebek!' which sound SOo funny~

linda n wati were like shouting 'gebrek' or 'grebek'...

me sood n nyonya were laughing like hell!

and so all the way we shouted 'grebek' practically everywhere n anywhere..

the lift the toilet the class n all.. funny sia~

then the next thing was in class.... me n linda we out of the row n we consider ourselves as the MONKEYS~ sumhow we started making funny faces n linda was making this monkey behaviour! den i joined her.. we did the see no evil thing.. making faces n all... sood was laughing like hell oso! thru out the lesson we behaved like monkeys... scratch here n there n eat like monkey....

ouh yah then just now we had to do the feed patient thing.. so i laid on the bed n they started feeding me with biscuits! linda lah... my crazy nurse from IMH n me being the IMH patient. hahaa~ funny sia... i behaved like an IMH patient... mummy say i good actress.. wahahaa... =P

so yarh todaywas happening~

OhH ohH!! we when hm early today! suppose to go hm at 6 but released at 330 just now. coz mrs wong didnt come! so we hip hip hurray aready! wahahaa...

FUH~ wat a day~ =D i enjoy!

getcha butt out of here! losers!

2005-03-06T16:07:00.000+08:00

haaA! its been a long time since i last update my blog.

got no time lah...

actually got time, only that im lazy to type long stuff

lotsa things been happening lately..

but so far so gd

also there were bad stuff that happen

sumtimes i just love my life n sumtimes i just hate my life

i suddenly tot of quiting my habit. (for those who noes)

for the sake of him i wanna stop the habit.

u see.. i can help my friends but i just cant help myself

linda n watie were the one whu kept lecturing me

lecturing me in the good way i mean~

sumhow i just cant consider n sumtimes i want to consider

im in dilemma

i just want to follow my heart but..

my heart just wont let me be right

im easily jealous. i hate those flirtish girls out there whus after my boo

eventho he doesnt entertain those bitches

im still jealous!

what does he have that can still attract other girls

eventho im still with him??!

nowadays SOO many MINAHs just cant control themselves.

they are one ENORMOUS LOSERS up on their shoulders...

but still, i love my boo..

get on with my life as per normal

for fun!

2005-02-26T19:22:00.000+08:00

AAaHH! life is so unfair. sumtimes i hate life yet i love myself. only my life suck totally.

*silence*

damn it which step did i do wrong? dear is becoming much more meaner than last time. whats the *tot* is wrong with him.. every thing, practically EVERYTHING i do doesnt seem right for him. what abt he himself? wanna frame people anyhow..

*silence*

just leave him alone eza...

*silence*

today something made my day. my sch got the ite open hs. was fun! too bad linda wasnt ard. the ite idol was great! michelle made it to the next round but rajes didnt. rajes singing wasnt that good. but michelles' was superb! aneho, i met my behenz just now! so happy! finally got to meet twek just now. she so pretty! with her new hairdo n new boyfriend. so cute i tell ya. yarh then we took pics like we usually do during secondary years n all. laughing out loud n fooling ard.. so much fun!

ohH well, tmrw is another day for the ite open house. tmrw i hav to jage the stall with linda n 2 more girls. tmrw is wat i look forward to...

*silence*

what is happening to my relationship!??

life goes on...

2005-02-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

a qoute from my dear frend, linda.

"life goes on.."

yerp true

but

my heart just wont let me be right

one part of me says move on

the other part says stay with him

people easily say that i should leave him but i cant.

i dunt have the heart to leave him

after what we've been thru n all

its just so hard

i know he is a good guy deep inside.

what im seeing right now is not who he is

** without you - mariah carey **

current

2005-02-20T16:47:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION!

do feel free to go to my friendster profile n look at my newly updated pictures. also comment them here ok! =D

LINDA BABY! dont be sOo sad. still if he goes, u're still loving him n so does he rite?..

Cmon cheer up.. u have ME! talk to me ok when u're feeling down....

Am i over reacting? i should now play hard to get.. wanna make me jealous, go ahead. i dun mind coz u're shooting ur grudges to me. u wanna enjoy so i will oso enjoy!

there is just some things that i dont like going on in class.. damn it!

i lost 2kg!!!! shoOT! im suppose to gain weight but im not. i think i know why. its because of u..

i should continue eating my pills... huzz n EAT ALOT EZA EAT!!!!!!!!!

everythings gonna be alrite

2005-02-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

everything perfectly normal now.
im happy, i think hes happy.
glad that im back with him now.
only that we need to get some things
back to the normal track
oHh well,
life goes on...

Cries

2005-02-16T18:05:00.000+08:00

This song is really what im going through. Huzz im lost. im alone already. hes gone..

*cry*

You and me

We used to be together

Everyday together always

I really feel

That I'm losing my best friend

I can't believe

This could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go

And if it's real

Well I don't want to know
Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me cause it hurts

Don't speak I

know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories

Well, they can be inviting

But some are altogether

Mighty frightening

As we die, both you and I

With my head in my hands

I sit and cry
Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me cause it hurts
It's all ending I gotta stop pretending who we are...

You and me I can see us dying...are we?
Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me cause it hurts

Don't tell me cause it hurts!

I know what you're saying

So please stop explaining
Don't speak,don't speak, don't speak,

Oh I know what you're thinking

And I don't need your reasons

I know you're good, I know you're good,

I know you're real good Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la

Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'

Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush

Don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'

Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

happy valentines!

2005-02-14T19:59:00.000+08:00

wah! i got so many things to say today. gonna make 2 entries =D

firstly i started my day abit gloomy. dear didnt like talk to me on the way to sch. not exactly quiet all the way but only speak a little. then reach sch at the technical block, he said he gotta go class aready. i tot he was gonna sit with me for awhile coz its still early. i said to him i want to give him sumthin which was his present but he said nvm give me later lah. he said it in a way that he doesnt appreciate it at all. i was upset that i just walked away saying nothing. =( made my way towards the cafeteria entrance with a sulky face. feel like an idiot. didnt wen into the cafe coz none of my babies are ard yet so i waited for siva outside the cafe. i stood there staring at the blank feeling completely useless on valentines day.

a few minutes later sumone cheered me up. SIVARANJANI. yea that baby of mine. hehee. she came to the rescue. she wished me n gave me a valentine present. i was sO HAPPY coz thats the first wish n first present i got today =) thanks babe! it made me tear a little bit coz its so sweet of her... not like wat i dear did to me. felt so rejected.

CMON IM 'I', I HATE REJECTION!! (JN0501B u noe wat i mean)

yea then in class was so fun. we crazy nurses were exchanging gives. watie gave me heart-shaped straw, siva gave spoon sweets, linda havent give yet (still waiting tmrw) hehee, i gave them dried roses. there were happy looks in each others face. but behind mine wasnt as happy as it looks....

aneway i just hide my feelings for a short time. during lecture, i was so bored i made myself scribble on a piece of paper. passing it on my row n infront. they were giving me tots n all but i just cant listen to them. its so hard u noe. ive been thru lotsa things.

den it was lunchtime, had food n sat with linda siva ian shah lin sheril n siva's indian frends. so the kecoh. really made me laugh like hell. wahahaa... siva falling of from chair n siva n frend toking in tamil was so funny with the screaming n all... me sheril n linda were laughing all the way.

k after that me watie n linda go toilet do business for awhile. den dear msged me, at last, say he want to meet me. i tink he saw me look away frm him at the forum. i didnt want to meet him actually but my heart ask me to go. so hard for me. he rejected my present. huzz. so yarh i met him. came to him n he slipped a pack of kisses the chocolate into my pocket. he said nah enjoy my kisses. i looked at him n took out the rose. gave him but he said dun want arh coz he malu arh carry rose all ard. i put the rose inside his pocket n walked away. ouh happy he gave me sumting... =D

eErr

2005-02-13T13:25:00.000+08:00

its the 13th

8 months has past. how glad am i. hmm =)

i have so many things to say but i just cant! gosh if only sum1 noes wat im thinking...

its useless having a blog coz i cant release my every thought on my shoulder!

well wat to do.....

i gotta go. have some important things to do. hehee

OuHH tmrw its valentines day! got to prepare sum goodies for my babies, scandals n darlings!! u noe whu u are! =D

just a day ...

2005-02-10T19:40:00.000+08:00

maybe his ego n my ego is going to far.

i think i will let it go n let it flow.

gosh its so hard.

there are times that i wanna give up.

but its just too hard.

can i get it over n done with?

do u think so?

for the person that i loved so much,

i'd rather sacrify.

just as long as hes happy.

if he takes advantage of it,

let him regret wen he realise.

ouh well, u ppl can tell that im really sad n mad. theres a thousand feelings in me. positive n negative both bout me n him. aiyOoo i wanna be single back for just a day.... i dunnoe wat to do..... part of it is my fault. damn it~

S.O.S

2005-02-08T18:52:00.000+08:00

damn it

is there another in your life?

seem like u dun even care

i feel so URGH!

get this off ma shoulder!!

why are u doing this to me?

why is THIS happening to me??

AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna SCREAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can go mad! mad! mad!

yet

SAD sad sad *sulk

my emo lies in my eyes

get it off me

put those tears away..

i cant

im too depressed

help me

anyone

gd frends of hafiz?

HELP! S O S!!!

A Song

2005-02-08T16:11:00.000+08:00

Songscript by Princesso

Can U

Awaken by the sound of love

She felt a new leaf bloom out of her

knowing this must be a future

There are some things she wants to say

[Chorus]

Can u (can u) feel the way i touched u

Can u (can u...) hear the whisper in your ears

Dont make me a fool coz i cant control

Can u (can u) sense my care towards u

Do u (do u...) know how much i loved you

Dont make me cry through out a thousand miles...

Broken by a sight she saw

Making her control lose out of her

Just how can it happen

Though she just cant resist it anymore (any.. anymore)

[Chorus]

Can u (can u) feel the way i touched u

Can u (can u) hear the whisper in your ears

Dont make me a fool coz i cant control

Can u (can u) sense my care towards u

Do u (do u...) know how much i loved you

Dont make me cry through out a thousand miles...

Baby.. Baby please dont go

Baby.. Baby please dont leave...

Baby.. Baby please come back...

slit my throat!

2005-02-06T18:56:00.000+08:00

this is KILLING me! its so painful. cant turn my head to the left. cant talk alot. want to swallow saliva oso very difficult. i tink im havng tonsils. huZz. wanna go doc but its close. damn it. maybe tuesday go doc so no need go sch oso.
tuesday i got NO HALF DAY!!! ArGhh!!! so it will be useful if i get n mc due to my tonsils. waHahaa im evil. kekee.
but seriously, this throat is killing me! my head is so heavy. i feel like falling into my bed at all times. i have slight fever too. goSh~ since thursday seh like this. when is it going away?! lucky my flu finish aready..

aneho~ i got a new look! weHee i loike... but must see tmrw ok anot... =P
peace out babes
wanna go cut ma throat!
X(

My One

2005-02-04T17:45:00.000+08:00

spend an afternoon sitting near the shore.

the breeze was cooling.

giving me fresh air and made me release my fears off my shoulder.

there i was sitting closing my eyes thinking of the best thought.

a hundreds in my thoughts a thousand questions appeared.

a person then came n gave me comfort n love.

making me feel secured by the hold it gives.

a faithful trust love n care was kept in heart deep inside

unable to be reached by others

i said "May i leave a peaceful part of me to u n never let go"

can u love me?

2005-02-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

Broken this fragile thing now

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)

And I give up (I give up)

I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)

I feel like giving up (like giving up)

I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only oneI let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly

Leave a note for you my only one

And I know you can see right through me

So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only oneI let go, there's just no one, no one like you

You are my only, my only one

My only oneMy only oneMy only oneYou are my only, my only one

*i feel unloved~*

DIE BITCH DIE!

2005-01-28T18:55:00.001+08:00

I HATE THOSE BITCHES WHO MSG BOY.

THOSE BITCHES NUMBER IN HIS PHONEBOOK.

THOSE BITCHES WHO FLIRTS WITH BOY

LET ME NAME ONE BITCH I WANNA FIND!

NISA CUTE. FUCK U! U MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE.

UR A BITCH WITH A FUCKING FACE

WANNA FLIRT WITH BOY N WANNA HOOK UP WITH BOY.

UR A BITCH!!

DOWN WITH BITCHES LIKE U!

FUCK OFF!

its been awhile!

2005-01-28T18:55:00.000+08:00

hello my fellow peeps! long time no post.

sorry coz i've been bz with school n oso been going hm late n tired.

imagine 8 to 6 in sch n reach hm at 7. then tired aready

sumore got things to study n all.

huzZzz look whos whining. hehee

so far so good in sch. classmates alrite. im close to linda, we are the crazy nurses!

hahaa sianx

oso in lessons, i've been shooting answers when teacher answer n all. hahaa

people thing i so cleber but actually im not.

*blueK

OuH! i got my uniform aready!! the nurse uniform. wanted the pant suit n dress but sumhow the pantsuit out of stock. so i had to only get the dress. dress oKlah. not bad.

got my TABBNER oso! hahaa the thick book. yarh tts the book im gonna hold everyday for 2 years. not bad. yeah rite... =P

theres more to say! wednesday was the cca selection. n guess wat i chose?! i chose ballroom dancing n makeup! wakakaa. but makeup is my 1st choice. the makeup cca i have to attend course n then hav to makeup students or even artist when got performance or watsoever. WeHee not bad uh~ ekekee

so yea! so far so good! getting along with people well. study well. sch is greaT!!

resting day

2005-01-23T18:39:00.000+08:00

at last i got myself sum rest. it has been a tiring week for me. must get used to it tho. huzz. i cant wait to see my differences. to those who will not be seeing me for about a month, dun be shock wen u see me alrite!! wakakaa emm im not quite sure it will happen or not lah. hehehee.. its a suprise.... =)

aneway, i miss my frends!! long time no see them. my classmates, my behenz, my broz n the rest. i'll be coming back on teacher's day ok! woaO tt is still a loOng way to go. by that time i'll be on attachment. wakakaa! i cant wait!

in sch i still have 2 of my behenz with me. ton n ina. glad that we're together. dee n me only chat2 on msn to keep up with each other. twek! i missed her!!! dunno wat happen to her. heard tt shes a hottie in sch. ehehehee. looking forward to see her. shamin, we still call each other n sms. recently sumting happened but i will settle it as soon as possible!.. OoH! FOXXY!! missed him too!! where is he? hahaa.. im gonna see them SOON!!! WeEhee~

luckiest girl on earth

2005-01-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

i realised my doings n i regret doing it.

didnt realise that it hurt him so much.

but im the luckiest girl on earth to have him.

through the thick n thins we stand together

a promise is made

no i wont break n leave

MY 1st DAY

2005-01-17T21:26:00.001+08:00

tired tired~

1st day only finish at 6pm.

huzz

tired tired oso got have fun!

hehee my classmates were GREAT!

wel not all actually..

my group of frends were very fun to be with. laughing after every 30secs. hahaa

checky checky group. hehee

neway, i made lotsa new frends. but i got shy2 lah. sumhow the students there were like come lah join with us kinda thing. so ok yea.

Oh yah! i didnt expect that there were sum adults aged above 20 years old! the oldest was 55!! can u believe it. yea its a good thing lah. they wanna upgrade their skills.

during break time, i meet fiz at the cafe but den i didnt feel like sitting with his BIG grp of frends. so the paiseh. so i met Jannah Ton n set with her frend. wEee fun. so the 'kecoh-rable'. hahaa

hmm didnt meet ina n shida just now...

then just now got practical. must learn how to wash hand. the method i mean. u noe those u see in movies when wanna do operation, they have to wash hand thing. yarh thats the one. very fun! wrong step 'tIoong~' must do again.. hahaa

ouh yah! u now who i bump into just now??!!

dino n izzat!

well izzat tk psl arh.. he frendly

but dino! gosh. damn it.

i hate him sia~

klah tts abt it...

im so tired.. wanna slp now...

nyte2!!

MY 1st DAY

2005-01-17T21:26:00.000+08:00

butterflies in my head not stomach

2005-01-16T17:35:00.000+08:00

no1

happy that im gonna start school tmrw n not in july.

no time to wastE!

no2

frustrated that my pre-holiday is so short. 1 week??

wakakaa look whus whining...~

no3

nervous that im gonna be in a new sch.. damn it

no4

i have no money for myself to spent!! no own money!

its ok next year can get allowance.. hehehe!! *dream long2*

so yea.. many things going on in my head. this n that..

gonna have a long day tmrw. 830 till 6!!

yea 6pm.. huzz~

|| 1306 ||

2005-01-14T19:14:00.001+08:00

OH! yesterday was our 7th month. hehee! keep it up!!! love ya! Muahkxx~

Happy Anniversary!! =D

just keep dreamin~ just keep dreamin~

2005-01-14T19:14:00.000+08:00

im so happy im so glad that i got the course~ BUT must wait for the medical checkup results first. so yea i got the JANUARY INTAKE - NURSING in ITE SIMEI. WEeee

yesterday mr teh call up n said that i have to go for interview n after that see whether i am qualified to take up nursing. tt nite i called up kak hariani to get informations n all. Gosh lucky to have her coz most of her info really helped! THANKS KAK ANI!!! hehee~

so in the morning i went to coral to get my testimonial n met sakinah. off we when to ite simei. (oH sakinah oso got the course!) then met mr teh n den me go interview by one of the lecturer. it wen well.

Ms Wong: ok hafizah *smiling* after this go down to SATA for medical check up.

Me: huh? really?

Ms wong: Yes u got in!

Me: YEA!! *jump out of chair*

(realised tt some students were looking at me. OpsY!)*blushed*

Ms Wong: wah So happy?

Me: yea of course!

hahaa funny. i paisae when i saw students looking at me when i jumped out of my chair.. hehee! then i was introduced to my fellow classmates. they seemed frendly! got a warm welcome by them hahaa! funny~ ok so i'll be in school on MONDAY! hahaa! so fast seh. my pre-holidae is so short. but its ok. if its long, then i'll be in boredom.

now no more time to waste. took my medical checkup n waiting for results on wed. tmrw going town to find my shoe.

YES! YES! YES!

bored bored~

2005-01-11T13:52:00.000+08:00

what a boring day. im so bored.. just sit at home do house work n laze around. if i could go out or work then there will not be a problem. i can only start work if i take the july intake. huzz. the results will be out in 2 weeks time...

aneway i designed a desktop creation by me, princesso. its nice.. check out my frendster to see it..

waste time only..

2005-01-10T19:51:00.000+08:00

had to go to whitesands to do instant prints for rayyan's nursery. when with mum n rayyan. after that mum n rayyan head hm n i went to school to get my testimonial. met sakinah outside school n then went into school. these is wat happen..

me: hi, im hafizah. im here to collect my report bk n testimonials..

the clerk searched thru the files n tok a piece of paper out

clerk: sign here and here. n please hand me your ez-link card.

me: huh? ez-link card for what?

clerk: yarlah must give me ur ezlink card coz u going out of the school..

me: eh but my ezlink card still got credits.. den how? u gonna give me refund?

clerk: ouh then like that u have to finish up the money and then on the 31st january u give it to me..

clerk handed out my reportbk n a piece of paper

me: wheres the testimonial?

clerk: u have to give me your ezlink card then i can give u your testimonials...

me: *pissed* ey then u never tell me earlier.. waste my time come here. im here to get my testimonials..

clerk: we thought u know aready..

me: ok fine then i will get my ezlink on the 31st? is that all? anything else u need to collect?

clerk: nope...

clerk asked me to sign the papers n off i went...

goodness sake i was really pissed actually. should have told me earlier n not waste my time... but nevermind...

after that me n sakinah head to tamp to get sum stuff then go ite simei. teman here there to apply.. then meet dear there.. coz he schooling.. hehee! he looks nice wearing the uniform.. ouh yarh.. down there got many mats siak... wahahaa n oso those punks i tink... didnt see many girls...

OOoh! i found out that nursing must wear the nurse uniform! wahahaaa..

*dreaming....*

Information! Questions! Answers!

2005-01-10T18:42:00.000+08:00

Im so lazy to answer people's question abt me going ite. if only i can like copy paste the conversation. so here rite now, im gonna explain everything! so my peeps just read here n dun ask me abt why what n when... or watever it is lah... hehee Sorry!~

Why quit n go ite?

Because i want to. i have no confidence to study for 'o' lvls aready. if i go ite, i will know skills. which is better.. YOU dun tell me that if i have no 'o' lvl cert i cant go anywhere. BULLShIT. Excuse me, i learning skills ok!.. if people tell me that i can go nowhere, i'll not reply or even bother to care or listen to wat they wanna say.

What course?

i applied the nursing course. follow my mum's footsteps. at first i nvr dream of being a nurse coz i was afraid of injections n blood. then when my mum told me that a nurse doesnt do the injections but only the Senior nurse will do it. wat a nurse do is just taking temps, feeding, giving medication, help the doctor n checking the patients.

When?

so i tried the January intake. they say the results will be out on the 31st January. so yah i have to wait. if i cant get the January intake, i'll just apply for july intake in march.

where?

ITE SIMEI! yea the new BIG school! hahaa... gonna love it there... its nice!

i heart u!

2005-01-09T17:50:00.000+08:00

first of all, i wanna say a big THANK YOU to all my family n friends who have supported me in making my decisions. I LOVE U PPL!

Kak elli! yea thank u very VERY much fer ur advise.. i wanna get to poly too so can get diploma for the course i want!

ouh yarh... i applied for NURSING at ite simei. taking the january intake so i pray hard to get it. if i dun then i'll have to wait fer the july intake.

*dreaming*

me in the nurse uniform~ nice? pretty? taking temperature of patient, feeding them....

*silence*

EEekkk!! kene cebok pantat!!! LOL!

WAkakaaaa~

huzz i really hope i get that course. ouh yarh did i tell.. my mum was a nurse last time. so yea i follow my mum's footstep! glad to see her face smile when i decided to take up nursing~

well gtg...

*dreaming myself in nurse uniform* =P

msg to u

2005-01-06T20:29:00.000+08:00

Gonna leave the school. Gosh im gonna miss u peeps~ all the times we had together as classmates n schoolmates.

Fadhli: Slamat uh. jumpe ko kat sane ite...

Maya: work hard! try to get poly after ite ok! gonna meet u there..

Fini: 2 parties against u. to leave the school n to continue sec5. make ur decisions wisely k gerl..

Jda: Weee suke ko ehk msk ite.. hehee =) sudy hard still ok!

NisS: oit! tkmo influence dgn dak2 kat ite tu! ite pon blaja jgk tau!

Jo: gonna mish u! study hard ok! dont sleep in class~

Fags in the class (clifford n peeps): u all dont talk2 in class! go fagging ok! study hard!

5n3: people pls take ur o lvls! must listen to the teachers ok! mish u all!!

its time to make my decision..

2005-01-06T17:50:00.000+08:00

now is my time to make my decision for my future. i cried i didnt noe wat to do. this is my hardest decision made. a decision that will bring me to my future.. wat more can i do or say.

im afraid. people look down on me. my family especially my mum. how bad she wants me to succeed in life. i cried thinking over n over again. thinking how she reacted. the sad look on her face. i feel guilty...

i made my decision not to continue. i know wats gonna happen. i planned wat im gonna do. i made a promise to bro. ite is now my path. i should get wat i promise.

i brokedown. it was a tough decision. i was too afraid. but with my confidence, im sure i'll be able to succeed.. insyallah

uh-ouh im in trouble!

2005-01-03T19:40:00.001+08:00

1st day of sec5 already got into trouble. hahaa! coz of dyed hair. bodoh seh fiza. dye siang2 tanak kan dah kene tangkap!

aneho, was caught by mdm lina. my class 5n3 most of us had to go back bcoz of improper attire. including me. hehee. malu seh. so yarh write name then sent hm. go hm dyed black back. hehee~

Ouh yah! im glad to be in 5N3! WeHeeee~~~~

Sorry?

2005-01-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

how i wish i wasnt a chatterbox to u. shooting out words without thinking that it might hurt u.

*silence*

hey... actually my words are right only that u urself who tot of the negative ones. how am i to be blame? its unfair.. aku rase aku byk menyusahkan kau.. kadang2 aku rase aku bukan org yg kau inginkan. u always say its my fault n never yours. the only word i need to hear from u is SORRY. its always me to say sorry. why?

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Heal me dear.......

yes! n no~

2005-01-02T19:20:00.000+08:00

ouh man~

tomorrow school start aready. im not ready yet tho. still lazy2. hehee. many things going on in my head. also questions about tmrw. altho its not like my 1st day in school sort thing but its a new year, new classmates (theres still some old classmates tho) n environment. this year taking o lvls. so in class no more slping, fooling ard n all. kinda miss my 2004 classmates together in 4N3.

aneho.. whats gonna happen tmrw? what abt my hair? will i get caught? wat abt the class? will they make 3 classes instead of 2? if still 2 classes, im gonna die! it'll be Soo damn cramp. not my kinda place to learn n study. tsk. wonder how things will be tmrw. no more sitting together with my behenz. no more hugs. no more kisses... how will i survive this year?

damn it.. so many question sia me. irritating brat. but im still happy that im going skool. no more time wasted doing nothing tt sort of thing. hehee.

ok... today, i wen to mamu nan's hs coz got makan2. mamu cater food. very nice. mee goreng n lauk kari. Arghh nice. then oso i drank WINE! wahahaa no lah. i drank real grape juice in the wine bottle thing. its non-alchohol arh.. nenek was like.. 'ey! asal minum air arak ni??'.. den i was like laughing n said ' ni bkn air arak nek.. botol je mcm tapi air bukan. ni air cume de pe juice aje...' den i asked nenek to taste it n she kinda like it. hehee. ouh yea~ then i watch tb all the way n oso sit down chit chat with my aunts. hmm. im happy that theres still family gathering. if theres no family gathering, i'll be bored till death! hahaaa... merapatkan silaturahim....

just morning~

2005-01-01T13:09:00.000+08:00

*blUek*

this is KILLING me!

its the NEW YEAR & things happening so fast!!

why must bad stuff happen to me early in the morning?.. urgh nvm. got bad news n oso got hurt inside out. damn it. why did it happen? gave freedom to go. then in the end this happen. WHY!!?

other than that, my cramps is oso killing me.. hate it when i happens.

other than that im still upset about what happen. yes i understand, my life is full of SORROWS..

giving me gifts will make me forgive u?...

Raining!

2004-12-31T19:43:00.000+08:00

Hush

Its me princesso

address me as Princesso

Princess of Sorrow Darkness Loneliness

HAH! suddenly it just came to my mind. i should name myself. a character. so here it is.

damn it im tired! altho today rain - no rain - rain - no rain. noticed? so yarh. in the morning at 11 i head to skool to get stuff. den when hm. cleaned up my table which is in a freaking mess! now its super clean. TehEee~ after that at 230 i went out to tamp to get a diary for 2005. bought 2. very nice n simple just the way i loike it! then i window shopping. many people seh. yesh- i went there ALONE. nah. i just want to be alone thats all. its me. the one i just discovered. uh huh. ok after that i set off to whitesand ntuc. got some groceries mum wants n sum groceries of my own. SNACKS to last me for 3 to 4 days i guess. hmmm.

i just finished creating a picture. PRINCESSO. hehee..

Darkness awaits

2004-12-30T17:50:00.000+08:00

WEeee!!~

im enduring my pain but filled the time making princesso..

Princesso is the new ME

she who felt the pain, darkness, loneliness n fear..

*silence*

aneway~ hahaa. the above is true actually. so ok. nothing much today. made a nice desktop pic for myself. fun! all the face, lips n faces.. all dark.. like my new character.. check out my friendster pic... Go!~

Ooo nice2

2004-12-29T18:32:00.000+08:00

hah! to those who got their posting today, good luck yarh. accept or decline. hehee. hafiz got building sumting arh i dunnoe in simei. he dont like it at all he said. hmm.

aneway... when to tamp to teman mum n kala jijah cut hair. hehee. mum's hair cut is totally short seh. mcm laki she say. she not satisfied. then rayyan cut his hair oso. i dun like it at all. bcoz his sideburn GONE!! argH!! but maseh hensem. ekekee. i still prefer him with bob-cut.

after that we headed to the metro sale at EXPO. entered the hall. WOW. there were clothes, SHOES, BAGS!!! ARGHH!!! can go crazy seh! hahaa. but i cant buy the things i want. u noe.. shoes n bags. im a crazy freak on bags n shoes. hehee. saw nice ones. mum was looking at the pots n pans n i finally get to look n womens wear. weHee.. didnt buy clothes shoes or bags. i bought lingeries! wahahaa. very nice u noe... got lotsa choice actually. hehee. got the one i want n off i wen looking ard. tried the perfumes, look at the hundreds of shoes. i fell in love with the shoes but too bad i cant buy them. then to the bags.. not much that i favour. but sum were cute. hehee. then wen to the cashier n paid for it n met my mum outside. WeHEee.. happy2 i when hm.. =D

fiz kept asking.. whats the colour of the uniform? should i accept or not? how this? how that? hah! got irritated by it. hmmm. then just now i had to call his office to let him go fer an urgent leave. haha funny.. ayg ayg...

attention!

2004-12-28T18:11:00.000+08:00

all my recent post below here is one day early. take note of it... the upcoming ones will be as per normal.. thanks..

some things needs to be settle...

2004-12-28T17:54:00.000+08:00

1. im afraid of my doings, whereabouts n sayings. afraid that suddenly he will get angry out of the blue with me without explaining. im stupid enuf not noeing wats going on..

2. why do i have to say sorry when im not in the wrong. 'a person will say sorry when he/she does something wrong'

3. saying things that i didnt do is what i hate. everything i say or do is forever wrong to many people. then why do i even exist in this world!

4. Being friendly is one good thing. some people are just so stupid when they answer me SARCASTICLY when i asked anything. i hate people whos sarcastic. HELLO~ im being F.R.I.E.N.D.L.Y ... salah ke aku bertanye??... c*bai...

5. im startin a fresh with my lovelife...

6. i must meet my BEHENs... girls.. lets go out...

Nothing to read

2004-12-28T12:01:00.000+08:00

today a boring day for me as usual. in the morning i when to skool to get my books but unfortunately all books out of stock. over there met wan gadget, kotai n nazrul. after that fiz mum ajak me go jurong swimming pool but couldnt. i had to go to sis hs. all the way fiz try to make me jealous abt the girls over there. hmmph. fine~

later after asar my family when over to sis hs. had dinner over there. i watched shrek2 n AVP. oklah not bad.

bored... im out

F*ck it

2004-12-27T04:50:00.000+08:00

im just waiting for zohor now n den get ready to go to kala chom's. kak hariani getting engaged. gonna wear my black jubah n black shawl n black shoes n black perlini handbag. hahaa. all black seh today. ouh yah. aida n liza oso wearing black. we didnt plan to wear the same colour actually n sumhow we asked each other what we wearing n its BLACK! the 3 of us will be the LADIES IN BLACK. hahaa. girls! we must take pics later ok! hehee

hmm yesterday was my worst day. my emo day. my hate day. my bad luck day. n guess what i did to fill up my days.. take pictures of myself.. so heres what happen...

fought with dear abt sumting and was really hurt abt it. was really close to ending the story but i changed my mind. hmmm

there was no food at hm! my mum was over at my sis hs so theres noone to cook fer me food. at last i ended up eating maggie. how 'delicious'. after that i starved all they way till nite.

got scolded by mum for not cleaning the house. urgh! padahal dah bersih pon rumah. tak selerak langsung! beh nak marah2... as u all noe, im always the one to be blame in this family

sumtimes i tink, im a NOBODY IN THIS WORLD! i hate my life...

was a kala chom's hs yesterday to help out abit. i mean abit only coz the rest were prepared earlier. over there i finally ate sumting DELICIOUS! mee hoon kala cooked, lekor otak2 muah chee that me n my cuzz bought at pasar mlm. stuffed myself with those food.

luck wasnt on my side last nite. i fell down the staircase. 4 steps i tink. i hurt my kneecap. now it still hurts. aida said when i fell there was a loud 'gedebuk' sound. so it seems pretty bad huh? wonder why it still hurts rite now.

i had a really bad chest pain after that. Urgh~ painful. when i breathe in, it hurts n when i breathe out oso hurts. then i tot ouh maybe all these, the fall n chest pain are my balasan...

*silence*

hmmm

Fuck my life..

Im out of here..

im such a loser

2004-12-26T05:20:00.000+08:00

IM SUCH A LOSER

*silence*

why is everyone avoiding me?

*silence*

where r my sisz n broz..?

*silence*

everyones missing!!

*silence*

dear, u were so mean to me last night

those words u said to me really hurt

im heartbroken im depressed

my whole night i spent wondering

how am i wrong n why are u so mad

u got angry without an explaination

u didnt even want to hear me say

whatever wrong i made that got u mad

im sorry...

*silence*

i feel so lonely

my frends are nowhere insight

*silence*

LONELINESS HERE I COME.....

sLeepy

2004-12-25T09:25:00.000+08:00

hello~

im sO bored. got nothing to do n got nothing to eat. huzz. just got back from beach road wit fiz. teman beli kasot. menggeram seh aku gi sane! all the bags are SOOo nice. fiz want to buy for me but i dun want. he top-up kan my hicard uh yesterday so its ok. lagipon he blanje me makan aready. so yarh, surveyed every shop n finally we found the one we like. nice shoe. Diesel. bought a brown meshcap oso. after that gi mam.

happy me.. i didnt blanje anything today. need to save up my money arh. been doing lotsa shopping last time. so now no more. only window shopping. ouh yah.. gave fiz his baju i bought fer him kat KL n 2 other stuffs. suke seh de. hahaa.

klah me wanna go sleep. very sleepy lah deh!~

Fraser Hill

2004-12-24T11:26:00.000+08:00

Im back!!!

weHee!~

im sOo tired. yesterday reached home late n den the next day which is today, im out again. hahaa. case tk puas shopping kat sane. hehee. when to arab st with my aunts. shop fer scarfs.

ok i'll summarise my Fraser Hill trip here. frm sunday till wed...

Sunday

left the house at 645am. fetch kak ida n when to nek's hs where everyone will gather there. cik lin n fam, mami n fam, nenek n my family. suppose to leave there at 730am but due to some reasons we were delayed! liza u noe what i mean. hahaa. ok so we berangkat at 8am. we had a few stops for toilet break n lunch. ok den we reached at the bottom of the hill at 3pm. u noe what?? punye lah semcm naik the hill. Fuh!~ can get headache seh. actually i got headache arh like want to muntah. but luckily no. only rayyan puke. the road is like turning n turning after every 5 seconds. gosH. n going up the hill takes abt 30 to 40 mins! can u imagine tt!! urgh~ finally we got to the 'little town'. i mean realli little. maybe TINY. ok emm yah.

after tt we still have to go up again to our bungalow. our banglow is the biggest out of all n the highest out of all. abt 1o mins later we reached our bungalow. RICHMOND bungalow, PSA. yarh its under PSA, singapore. the bungalow was HUGE! the hall, the dining rm, the radio rm, the bedrms, are big!! there was a total of 5 big bedrms with a big toilet in every one of the rm. imagine tt. hahaa. huge rite? ok den everyone settle in their rms. me liza ani n bibik shared a rm. MAXWELL rm. hehee.

'Sejuk nye kat sini. bleh kecik kan aircon kat sini tk?' nek asked. my mum wen ard the hs to look fer the aircon. 'boy, mane aircon nye control? sejuk lah! nak kecik kan aircon'.. abg boboy said while laughing, 'maklong ngn nenek doa kpd Allah tuk kecik kan aircon kat sini k!!' hahaa...

well do u get tt? hahaa fraser hill is very cold. i mean its btw 19 to 24 degrees there. ok so everyone freshen up n we did our stuff n all. everyone slept at 12am...

Monday

woke up at 640am for prayers. it was sOo cold! after pray i wen back to slp. 8am woke up n wait fer breakfast. abg zaki, kak ida, abg boboy n kak neng wen to the 'tiny town' to get breakfast. after breakfast, mandi. nasib ade water heater to bathe. but after bathing, i was freezing. hahaa. ok after that, me n basically all the cuzzins were playing xbox n poker cards all the way till zohor. after zohor we went to town to get lunch. after lunch we wen back to the bungalow. we freshen up n all the cuzz wen out again to the paddock to get horseride. tapi malangnye, dah tutop. so we wen to the boat paddling, pon tutop!.. how disappointing. my abg said ok we can go tmrw afternun wen its open. after that they brought us to a place where we can take pictures. after tt we wen back n watch hindustan. hehee. later at nite we ate nasi goreng. slept earlier at 10+.

Tuesday

BbRrrr freezing cold! did my prayers n back to slp. woke up earlier this time. me my dad cik razak azi ani iyah rayyan wen to town to get breakfast. while going down, we were driving in the CLOUDS! wEhee!!~ it was very cloudy. walking in the clouds is actually walking in water droplets. so we were very cold. ok den we reached to the shop. we couldnt see anything 10metres away frm us coz of the clouds. at the shop, i ate roti canai n hot teh susu. den i realise smoke coming out frm my mouth! hahaa!! den i got really excited. my other cuzzins were excited oso as smoke were oso coming out frm their mouth. haha! suke seh!! dad says we were cold n we drank hot water so the coldness comes out. sumting like tt lah. hahaa... den we wen back with breakfast for the rest. after that we watched industan again... hum dil de chupke sanam. after that i bathed. hehee lambat seh mandi! abeh sejok!!

okok after that we wen out to go boat paddling. liza mami n papa didnt follow us. coz liza not feeling well. too bad she didnt get to boat paddle with us. so yarh me ani n iyah together paddling the boat. fun!! kak ida n abg zaki, abg boboy n kak neng, ayid ayah n rayyan. hehee get to see scenaries. den we all wen to the flower nursery. snap2 pics. den we were off to lunch. after that we bought ramlee burger. my family wen shopping fer souviniers in the town. wen we reached back to the bunglow, we contd our hindustan movie. hehee... finish movie, we played cards till late nite....

Wednesday

woke up extra early n bathe extra early. 8am we checked out of the bungalow n off to KL to cik nor's hs. reached cik nor's hs at 1pm. had our lunch and FINALLY! i get to do my shopping!! got dear sum stuff n oso fer myself... weheE!~ shop shop with ayah ayah amin ipul liza ani den wen back to cik nor's hs at 6. had our dinner n after solat maghrib we set off to Singapore... 230am reached hm... n off i wen to my comfy bed~ ZZzzzz

Gosh waste my time only

2004-12-19T07:55:00.000+08:00

*sHouts!*

UrgH! wasted my 4hours trying to change my skin but there were problems. after that i just gave up n just use this skin. so yah i dun have to worry abt anything for my blog n can just post my entry. simple as that. hah!

*silence*

im outta here~

im so in love with u boy~

2004-12-18T23:40:00.000+08:00

1st of all i'd like to say

DARLING I LOVE U SOO MUCH!!! THATS THE BESTEST GIFT I EVER HAD!!!

LOVE U TILL THE END!!

ME & U

JUST THE TWO OF US IN THIS WORLD!!

WEHEEE!!!~

ok thats fer u darl. kekee. finally he gave me my suprise. Gosh! i love it so much! hafiz surely is the guy that can really make me happy forever.. hehee~

SAYANG DE! hehee MmuahkxXx~

Holiday

2004-12-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

I WILL BE FLYING ON MY JET PLANE TMRW.

WILL BE BACK ON WEDNESDAY

IM OUT OF SINGAPORE FOR MY HOLIDAYS

TAKE CARE K MY FELLOW FRIENDS!!

mUAHKxX

what can i say...

2004-12-18T20:54:00.000+08:00

hah! u people must we wondering what crazy thing i did yesterday rite..?! or maybe not.. but well, i might just say it. hahaa

after i reached hm, ate my food frm mac n headed to bed to sleep coz dun want to think abt my results. in the end i couldnt slp. so i called dear. talk2. after that i was on the comp. n i tot of doing sumting stupid. n these is what i did...

changed my clothes n off i when to whitesands.

1st shop: watson. i bought 3 snickers n pretzels

2nd shop: eco-sushi. i bought 10 sushis

3rd shop: delifrance. i bought Crab mayonnise sandwich

4th shop: MacDonalds: i bought Mcspicy double again.

wahahaa. so u noe what it is? i spent $20 just on food for myself!! so yarh i went home n ate it all. hahaaa! gelojoh siak fizah!! lol.. i have to admit, i've been eating alot nowadays. think my weight is going up. HAHAA!!

ok so i have sumthing else to talk about. IN SCHOOL yesterday....

didnt know that sum of the people i know in school are just SO SOMBONG! ouh yea?! if u were to hate me or watsoever, just 'act' friendly! dun have to be sarcastic. Bullshit! F*ck. even if i hate u, i still talk to u. Ouh? maybe u ppl are just a BUNCH OF PATHETIC FUBUS!!! hell yeah i sure damn hate FUBUS!

**sorry for the language**to those who 'TERASE' pls... think abt it**

Results!

2004-12-18T10:10:00.000+08:00

got my results

*shuts*

dunnoe how to feel

*shuts*

happy or sad??

*shuts*

oh well..

*shuts*

i got 9 points. O lvl here i come~

*shuts*

wat the hell.....

*shuts*

(im outta here. im doing sumting crazy)

(leave me alone)

(ARHH!!!)

Hmm

2004-12-16T07:20:00.000+08:00

Gosh~

i dunnoe what to feel n how to feel. excited? happy? sad?

huzz~anywy, yesterday i wen to chalet at costa sand pasir ris. was fun! people there were frendly. the bros n sisz of bedok south. felt welcome by them. yarh not like some people last time. making people unwelcome n looking at us like strangers. bullshit. hah! aneway, loud music were played n some of the bros were playing with th PS2. fiz was also playing. i looked at them n said 'u people dun look like adults but just a bunch of primary skool kids'.. n they say 'standard one mah~'

ok emm ouh yah fiz say he gonna gimme a suprise but end up he forgot to bring them. hahaa~ poor dear. he was in a hurry to meet me. but told him ts ok. the next time we meet can give. tt time must remind him. if not he forgets again.

hmmm this friday N lvl results! SHOOT! im starting to get the chill on my back. but insyallah my results is fine. i mean FINE. on sunday, i'll be going for holiday aready! yeah! going Fraser Hill. the cold palce. hehee im excited. cant wait. maybe going trekking there. its gonna be fun i tell u!

gtg people! im out to eat lunch with my sis n mum... tata!!~

Conversation

2004-12-15T15:30:00.000+08:00

Story of an SMS conversation

Friend: im X friend. i have a msg from X. call me

Girl: sorry i cant use the phone now. whats up?

Friend: i cant msg u. this is urgent

Girl: X kene tangkap ke?

Friend: on friday night, X lari nak carik kawan de punye chalet. then police stop X n screen X. X kene tangkap. Skrg X dah kat dlm remand. X pesan aku suroh lang kau yang X ok and X maseh syg and rindu kan kau so so much. X nak kau jage diri kau baik2. X tak akan lupekan kau. X tetap sygkan kau. and lagi satu, X ckp suroh kirim salam kat sumer members X. lang dorg X ok.

Girl: Ouh dear~ emm ok thanks. ade pape lagi X kate tk? is there a way that i can write to X or anything?

Friend: Ouh yeah. X court case is on the ______. there is no way that u can write to X. u can only visit X every wednesday but must come with X's parents.

Girl: tak rase mak bapak X nak visit X. They were mean to X. Ok thx emm anything msg me. Urgh~ i feel so bad.

Friend: Hey dont feel bad. X still loves u very much.

Girl: yarh but i regret not anwsering the phone call from X that night.

Friend: dah.. yg sudah tu sudah. lupe kan aje. now X wants u to take care of urself. he misses u very much.

Girl: hey nnt. mase tu kau dgn X ke? how did u noe X loves me?

Friend: today i got bail. im X's remand friend. before i left, X wants me to tell u that X loves n misses u.

Girl: ok thx. hmm i cant hold back my tears. any msg from X, msg me ok...

*based on true story*

im just posting this because i need to. dun ask me why. because im the girl...

Tho i still love my dear fiz more than anyone else...